really now

do i really still have feelings for her?? hmm. i guess i do. but why?? i barely even talk to her. and plus i think she already likes someone else. sigh. if i had to say what our status is. i woulllddd say barely friends. o well. since im starting a new school monday it should really get my mind off of her. eventhough every night i see yuki and it makes me sad...well..anyways i should really get her off my mind..but how? how do i just stop thinking about my first love. my first kiss. my first real girlfriend. my best friend. impossible

"give me atleast one last day to be with her. and ill be happy"

Is it a passion?

Every time i break i just get this feeling. its like when i dance all my worries go away, all the stress, and all those bad thoughts. i may not be what you call the best but im trying to get there. i know all the great bboys were already amazing when then were only little kids and all and i only started like what? idk but i wasnt a little kid. but no matter what im gonna try my best to get up there even though im really lazy im still gonna try. so is it really a passion? or is it just a little hobby i do to get my mind off things? i dont really know right now lets just say its something i love to do [:

"break dance not hearts"

the road not taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

right now there are two roads diverged in a yellow wood. its either go to burroughs and start all over again but lose my friends, or stay in providence and keep all my friends but make my family spend more money on me when we are going through these hard times. i really want to take both roads but both of them have consequences. lose my friends or ruin my family budget. im gonna be thinking about his decision a lot.

but other than this decision i also have another problem...i want to say i love you to her but yet i know it will ruin everything again but if i keep my mouth shut she will never know. i was so close to telling her that i loved her last night..but i stopped myself before i did. i know we are both trying to get less attached to eachother and i think its working out...but yet i also think it isnt. trying to get less attched to the person that you cared for loved trusted and the one you talked to the most is impossible. i know nothing is impossible but this...this is impossible. but right now i will accept the fact that we are just "friends" now. and i will choose to not hurt her or break her heart ever again and to do that i should get unattached right now. i will try my hardest to. i do not want to make promises because like she told me....

"never make a promise that you know you cant keep..cause it will just hurt the one that you are making the promise to"

again.

well i just made a decision to keep blogging.

i know i said i would probably stop blogging. but ive been thinking and hey there really isnt a reason why i should already stop after only having at for a week. so yeah [: i will still blog!

done?...well done

to tell you the truth i just made this blog so i could show tiffany garcia what i really am going through and what i think about and what i really think her as. since i might not see her that often or be as close to her anymore there really isnt any point in blogging. so im sorry to everyone if there was anyone that was reading this..but anyways im sorry but this is probably gonna be the last blog i write. cause its probably all done now..well it shows how much i really loved her..but i do love her and ill miss her too..<33 well no one will ever understand what im going through anymore. all i can say is ive lost the one i loved the most...
"thought i had it all"

new start

a sun rise can be a start of something new.

maybe i should move on. since im going to a new school and all. i know im never gonna forget all my great friends at phs and of course i wont forget all the amazing times i had with them. and i would never forget weirdo. but hey...like everyones telling me just move on. can i really? everyones still gonna be my friends. im just switching schools. but yet i havent even switched schools yet and seems like im lossing all of them already..especially that weirdo. sigh..its life.

when i talk to her that feelings not really there anymore..its not the same anymore..]: well i guess i have one more day to actually hang out with her on her birthday.but yet i dont want to lose her..its like i have a huge whole in my chest..

"no matter what ill always be there for you..but probably not as your boyfriend but as your best loser buddy<3"

oh happy days

i dont know why but i love all these pictures of sunsets<3

oh happy days indeed. dont know why but feels like i have nothing at all to worry about. feels like im just flying away to my own little cloud. feels pretty crazy but i love this feeling. no more worries no more sadness. and no more shit to go through. right now i just want one thing. and that one little thing is to say i love you to that weird girl. and after i say that then i have nothing else i would want to do but relax and just live life as it is...happily. and i can even see that sunset on the beach one day. and of course i wouldnt be alone when i see it. <333

"lets just say that whatever you do even if its something extreamly bad ill still say that i love you"